IN THE MEMORY OF MY DEAR BROTHER MOHAMED AHMED H ARWO
BY NAJAT AHMED H ARWO
"Who, when afflicted with calamity say: "Truly To Allah
we belong and truly, to Him we shall retu rn."" [The Qur'an; Chapter 2 (Al Baqarah - The Cow) : Verse 156]
I cannot go to reflect on our loss without addressing
the pain and the sorrow of my beloved fath er, after all
it is that which triggered me to write this memoir.To
him Mohammed was everything, not only a son but a
friend, a colleague and above all a manager of his
affairs.
My dear father,
As you may know, I am not the writer nor the ta lker, I
am more of the reflector, and therefore I r equire time
to allow myself to respond to my o wn emotions. It has
just been over two weeks si nce our beloved Mahammed has
left this world and I can only manage to gather my
thoughts to gether.
I have read every single word that you have wri tten
regarding the death of our beloved Maham med , and I was
overcome with emotions. Your ability to report the exact
facts at the most tra umatic time is impeccable.
The death of my only brother and your only son has left
a whole in my heart, and on most days I feel as if
someone has cut off my limp. As he wa s my everything, my
shoulder to lean on, my adv iser, my best friend, my
guardian, my protector, my role model, my councillor,
and my motivator. In all the roles he played as a son,
brother, husb and, father, nephew, friend, cousin and
grandchi ld he played them ever so perfectly. He filled
all our lives with love, kindness and generosity. I was
always in awe of his ability to handle life's
predicaments with grace, humility and most imp ortantly
with enthusiasm, always putting a posit ive spin on
things. Mahammed always ensured to give everyone the
time and attention they needed, was never too busy for
anyone. In my entire life, I can not think of one memory
that sees him in a negative light. Always the peace
maker, the joker, the humanitarian, never the fighter.
I feel that there are hardly any words in any language
that can truly describe my beloved brothe rs character.
Word used would just seem like an exaggeration or even
false!! But the truth is he was simply a rare gift, a
blessing that was bestowed upon us by Allah. Mahammed's
time on this earth might have been short but was very
propitious. He was only 36 yet his accomplishments in
life can be comparable to a retired 70 year old man. In
his evanescent life he has achieved more than most
adults can attain in their lifetime.
My dear brother always joked that it was not only you
and mum who raised me, that he was also a big part of my
upbringing. It is ever so surreal that I am the teacher
in the family yet I always saw him as the original
eccentric educator. Mahammed taught me valid lessons
everyday in The School of Life. I still can hear his
voice saying "Najat when was the last time you spoke to
aunt or uncle so and so, go and make that call now".
Constantly reminding me that life gets us all busy "Bu t
sis, you must always make the effort and give time to
those you love the most, especially family, young and
old. It only requires you to spend a few extra minutes
each day to reconnect and make someone's day, month,
year or lifetime. What a little sacrifice for such a
pleasurable reward ". Who would have thought such wisdom
would come from such a young man!! But he was always
wiser than his years, born with such a traditional and
loving soul.
Even in his death he is still teaching us lessons o n
good citizenship, humbleness, sincerity and mo stly
humanity. The amount of people that turned up to his
funeral was so overwhelming. What a sig ht it was, to see
people travel from all corne rs of the UK and rest of
world just to pay him an d us respect. The mosque was so
full, that peopl e were praying outside, Masha Allah what
a bea utiful sight it was. He had made an impact to eve ry
one that he met, all saying how amazing he w as, and all
agreeing that he was the ideal son. It was so touching
to see how family members stat ed that "Mahammed was one
in a million, unique, loving, giving and generous. No
other can replac e him nor can he be compared to". He was
every one's best friend, but those friends that he love d,
cried as if they lost a brother too. They felt ou r pain
and turned to my dear mother in her dark est hour an d
uttered weepingly "Mahammed wa s our brother and
therefore you are our mother, whatever yo u need, call us
just like you called for Mahammed. We are all your
sons". That alone was a testimo ny to his character.
Mahammed was so loved, and nobody loved him more than
you and mum. To loose a child is painful enough, but to
loose such a rare and extraordinary treasure is
unbearable. As parents we consta ntly feel that we could
always do more for our children, guilt ridden, never
satisfied with our effor ts. However my dear father, you
should not feel guilty over anything. Your son knew that
you tru ly loved him and that is all that matters. He did
not become the honourable gentlemen that he was without
your help. If you feel proud of us , then you and mum
should feel proud of yourselves first. We are not
products of magic, we became the adults we are because
of all the good qualities that you both instilled in us.
Mohammed had your entrepreneurial skills, your wisdom
and knowledge. He had mum's heart, kindness and faith,
and both of your senses of humour and strength. Can't
you see my dear father?? that without the combination of
both yours and mum's character and love, we would have
amounted to nothing, living a life with no sense of
direction. Mahammed and I always felt blessed to have
two amazing parents, and thank Allah everyday for
choosing us to be part of your lives. We deeply love you
both. Rest at ease my dear father as you have nothing to
apologise for.
I know that there is a slight emptiness and loneliness
that has take over our hearts, especially for my dear
mother. She has lost her soul mate and best friend. It
was such a joy to witness their rela tionship, two peas
in a pod, we constantly used to tease them, wherever mum
was Mahammed wo uld be there too. He always used to put
your needs before his own.
What an inspiration my brother was. Let us keep his
dreams alive and remember his positive view of the
world, his laughter and smile, his advice and wisdom.
Let us all aim to be better human bein gs, better
communicators and make our presence in this world
actually count. Allah has only bles sed me with one
brother, but he simply was the best. I am so proud to be
your sister my dear Ma hammed, I truly wished that you
knew how many people loved you, and how you impacted
their lives. Some people even admitted that they loved
you more than their own children lol. I promise I will
look after your heart, your life, your wife Fathiya Noor,
and your beloved son Ahmed-Ameer. I will do my utmost to
raise my children, especially my son Maahir to have your
exceptional and com mendable qualities. If he turns out
to be just 10% of the man that you became then I will be
satis fied.
May Allah the almighty grant you paradise, the highest
level of all, Janatal Fardoos. Ameen.
Najat Ahmed Hassan Arwo.
http://samotalis.blogspot.com/
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